Some people just want to win,
At all costs-
In competitions,
In business, and even
In arguments.
And so ...
What value is the reward,
When opponents are humiliated,
Livelihood of rivals ended,
And friendship lost?
Sometimes ...
Allowing others to win,
Delivers the greatest prize,
By unlocking the nobility within.
When others have a chance to win,
Rivalry is defused,
We talk about a kinder, gentler world, but is it happening? It is not just about letting others win. It is also about being gracious and humble in our lives. Leaders need to find new ways to allow others to rise up and be part of the solutions in a complex and messy world.
The world will need some major changes in the education system, Ivon. We’re taught to compete at such a young age. Even the performance management systems in our corporate organizations have competitive elements weaved into them. We should take lessons from some Eastern cultures who have a more collaborative mentality, and who find it uncomfortable to ‘win’ against others. Its a big subject, but an interesting one.
You are right Yaz. Interestingly, the leading educational system, Finland, does not let children begin elementary school until they are 7 years old and there is a lack of emphasis of competition.
I agree with the above comment. Competition is written in to us and people just find it absolutely impossible to visualize a world without it. There is that direct relationship with compassion. The greater the competitiveness in us the less compassion there is. Good post. Thank you,
I like that link to compassion Don. It reminds me of the etymology of the word competition and striving together.
I appreciate your addition to “passion for truths’” post. Personally, I’m not comfortable with intentionally letting others win, only in rare circumstances would I do that. It seems a little deceitful. Losing is a valuable lesson, one that some winners need to be taught a little more often
I prefer your perspective. “It is also about being gracious and humble in our lives.”
My experience growing up was it was the realm of grandmothers who let their young grandchildren win at cards.
I agree with mjtannian. I think there is something very false about intentionally letting others win. On the other hand, because of the unusual circumstances of my childhood, I have almost never experienced competitions. Just chess. And what I have seen from the side, is tht competition is a sure way of stimulating motivation. It can be a good help in the learning process. Of course, it is important not to elevate competition above all other values. It has to remain a game… something to be taken lightly. Ultimately, every young person eventually learns his place in society, whether on the ball field, or in the classroom, or in any other pursuit. We’re not all going to be stars. That is why there is a lot of importance in learning to identify with the community as a whole. Because each of us contributes something to the whole.
Lovely finishing line Shimon; it is reminiscent of the etymology of the word competition. I am not much of a chess player, but I always got the impression many chess players sought to help their ‘opponent’ grow. I might be wrong. My experience as a hockey player (ice hockey) is that I got better when facing opponents who helped make me better.
Great point, Ivon! Just not sure if leaders allow others to rise up…
Where I work, they do not. It is all about holding onto a crumbling and decaying status quo.
other places use policies and procedures to keep people in line…
We do to. Recently a parent complained about bullying in a school and the administrator said there was none, because there was a policy against it.