I often wonder about the language of the workplace. We refer to students as clients and staff in schools as human resources. Reminded me of a song from my youth, The Five Man Electrical Band. They wondered about the increased proliferation of signs and wrote a short note to Jesus about it while stopping in at a church along the way. Enjoy!

A human resources expert appeared

out of a shroud

mist-like.

I recoiled

What’s wrong?

Pleasantly enough asked

seemed off somehow

May be a sinister tone?

Did I say the wrong thing?

Or things?

I wonder

didn’t get the job

not even interviewed for that matter, plus

I got a security escort

wasn’t the first time

Human resources, you say.

Humph

I have questions

to hell with yours

I’ll ask mine

Are we compatible?

Can we date?

Where are humans mined?

do they mind?

What are they worth?

Raw and finished versions

Where is the human factory?

Are they reliable?

Can I get a warranty?

Can you exploit them?

or do they have a mind of their own?

do they mind?

Can we drill for them?

Do they fit in a pipe

To ship them, not smoke them

Do they depreciate?

Like a car, factory, or another normal asset?

a write-off?

or right off?

She seemed confused

perplexed perhaps

That must not have been in the book

I guess?

Tough to get a job

As a human being,

Not a human resource.

No offense intended to human resources people. You have a job to do. I guess.