It was a tiring day. I sat and reminded myself of a time I felt less tired. I took this picture that day.
I sit
I walk.
In the greater scheme
What does it mean?
Sunlight warms face
Gentle breeze cools air.
Fresh morning;
Comfortable afternoon.
Feel one with Nature
Deep roots.
Supported by ground;
Enveloped by all around.
Afresh, like a beginner;
Feel that which was always there.
See the world;
Feel it for the first time.
I find a place;
A place at the table of life.
I head into my Sabbath – I disconnect to reconnect. Last weekend we spent time in silence and in that space solitude appeared. I enjoyed a good week in a place I often struggle to find peace of mind. Besides the retreat, it was made easier as I participate in a wonderful group on a monthly conference call and we met this week. I also interviewed for a radio show about mindful servant-leadership. This was an incredible experience and will share a schedule, when it is available, for those who are interested in listening to it.
I can only say the peace I felt this week was a result of the silence and solitude at the retreat. This and sharing that experience with Kathy was a great time.
Spacious silence and solitude…
Within you I sought refuge
Peaceful and compassionate place.
There lovingkindness discovered me
The heart breaks open
Each moment its reward.
Silently the spirit reveals itself
Able to speak
Softly, gently, tenderly,
Begs for its quiet voice to be heard.
Solace finds me
An unmarked path emerges
One step at a time.
At week’s end
Gratitude for wisdom revealed
For week’s beginning.
I took this picture with my PDA at the retreat last weekend on one of my walks. This picture turned out better than the one I deleted. I took that one of the sidewalk. I had trouble with the sun over my shoulder; pretty good excuse. Initially, I was disappointed because this dragonfly posed and was cooperative, but, in retrospect, the title says it all.
The retreat was a great experience. I reminded my self that it is OK to be imperfect. I am human with that. The dragonfly showed up and shared a quiet moment with me and for that I am grateful.
He lit down oh so gently
He posed oh so perfectly.
I heard him say;
I really did!
“Take my picture please
My time almost done
This serves as my memorial.”
I took his picture
He stood so still
Posed gratefully.
Once done, he took his leave
Both our jobs nearly done.
I had just started on a conference call to Seattle last night and this fellow showed up on the back deck. He seemed curious and I took the picture with my PDA through the window. When I did open the door, he was gone before I even got open a crack. I think it is a western northern flicker woodpecker, but am not 100% sure. It is the first time I recall one showing up in my backyard. The ashtray served as a landing-place. It is not used for anything else.
Today, a visitor called
Briefly paused and rested on the stoop.
He seemed uneasy
Still, made himself to home.
Furtively, glanced about
Perhaps, hoping he would go unnoticed.
He seemed likeable
I moved to greet him
Suddenly, he slipped away
Gone, as quickly as arrived
I wish him well on his journey.
Kathy and I enjoyed our break at the retreat this weekend. I feel a little under the weather, but during the retreat itself that simply found a backseat in the peaceful environment we were in all weekend.
When I attend spiritual retreats, I find part way through I question myself. We often talk about compassion in these settings, but I struggle at times to be kind to those who I feel have offended me in the past. I am sure it is human nature. This weekend, I recognized there is worth in the small offenses, I find the good as I turn a little on the circle and shift my senses. I can see the world slightly differently. It is the bridge I need to walk across the abyss that appears, but it is only visible one step at a time. I trust my judgement and that of those who help me take those steps.
I know some might look at this picture and say,”That isn’t much of a drop or bridge.” I am so afraid of heights even this was a challenge the day I crossed.
I stand on the edge
The abyss yawns
Take the first step
The bridge is safe.
Built on compassion
Crafted from wisdom
Supported by community
It will carry my weight.
If only I trust my self
Take the first step
Trust my instincts
And those who travel with me.
Kathy and I are attending a retreat this weekend, so I am off-line for the weekend. I will leave you with Mindful by Mary Oliver. This poem reminds me to keep all my senses open and welcome that which is around me into my heart and mind.
Every day
I see or hear
something
that more or less
kills me
with delight,
that leaves me
like a needle
in the haystack
of light.
It was what I was born for –
to look, to listen,
to lose myself
inside this soft world –
to instruct myself
over and over
in joy,
and acclamation.
Nor am I talking
about the exceptional,
the fearful, the dreadful,
the very extravagant –
but of the ordinary,
the common, the very drab,
the daily presentations.
Oh, good scholar,
I say to myself,
how can you help
but grow wise
with such teachings
as these –
the untrimmable light
of the world,
the ocean’s shine,
the prayers that are made
out of grass?
Kathy took this picture of the frost on the Ponderosa Pine which sits in front of our house.
I walked out of the house and looked up at a clear sky. The Moon stood out in the sky and just below was a morning star. It is not a great picture, but it reminded me I live in a metropolitan area of over 1 million. I find my self rewarded when I take the time and see nature in that place. They are there; I only have to look for them.
See what I want
Hear what I choose
Instead, open my whole self.
Behold nature’s gifts
Hold close to the heart
Hidden only when I choose.
Nature waits for me
Quietly reveals its self
Open my whole self.
A friend asked this morning, “Where were you?”
I was in my car driving to school when the news broke. It seemed surreal like H. G. Wells’ War of the Worlds must have. When I got to school, I found a TV, and we watched it in my classroom. Other teachers did not take the same approach which surprised me. In today’s world, the interconnectedness is so real.
It is easy to say this could not happen in Canada, but on September 10, 2001 who would have thought it would happen the following day? Who could predict the consequences of the act of a handful of men that day and their impact on our lives?
That infamous day
I recalled today
A surreal moment
A nightmare.
Senseless tragedy
Grief shared
Touches one;
Touches all.
Time to heal
Hold memories close
Loved ones gone
Not forgotten.
Kathy took this picture last weekend. They finished a day cleaning the farmhouse and it is livable. The sun, after a dreary day, appeared and the sky was awash with golden rays. I feel this way in the classroom. I love what I do. I am whole and find voice. I am a learner, a teacher, and the two are inseparable, but I remind my self to be mindful and give thanks.
Fleetingly framed
Trees against golden skyline
Nature paints day’s end.
Glorious moment
Sky awash with golden light
I am fulfilled.
Kathy took this at the farm the other day. She called the Sun Set Tree. The sun briefly reached out and shone some rays down on an otherwise dreary day.
Blurry silhouette
Unnoticed against leaden backdrop
Feel so lonely.
The sun smiles gently
Shares tentative rays.
I receive its warming glow
Gather strength.
Reveal that hidden among shadows
Stretch boldly.
Smile with Brother Sun
A sacred moment.
ivonprefontaine
Teacher as Transformer 